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- <p align="left"><font color="#99FF66"> The Cursor´s Monologue<br>
- By Gritt Uldall-Jessen<br>
- <br>
- <br>
- Today is the first day in my new life!<br>
- It´s going to be the first time again.<br>
- Of this and that.<br>
- Of everything.<br>
- This time all has to be done again.<br>
- This time it must happen the right way<br>
- I´m not yet free.<br>
- </font><font color="#99FF66"><br>
- My lifespan is determined by he<br>
- who initiates me.<br>
- The question of whether I am worth keeping alive<br>
- is my daily challenge.<br>
- <br>
- My demands are way too large.<br>
- "Don´t switch me off, are you listening?”<br>
- “Give me time, I have a purpose!"<br>
- <br>
- To where am I ordered <br>
- this time?<br>
- What will my task be?<br>
- Which place will I belong to?<br>
- <br>
- The inhabitants of the Map have all seen me.<br>
- I'm familiar to them.<br>
- But that doesn´t mean<br>
- that there´re any of them who really sees me.<br>
- <br>
- We´re all agents.<br>
- We don´t know of knowing each other for real. <br>
- Unless it is noted in our profile. <br>
- <br>
- My function is<br>
- to write about the others.<br>
- About anyone.<br>
- <br>
- A robber came,<br>
- and robbed me of my imprisonment.<br>
- When he broke in, I broke out.<br>
- I don´t know how long<br>
- I had been in prison, at that time.<br>
- I barely knew whether I existed in the world<br>
- or not.<br>
- Whether I existed as anything but an idea<br>
- which was conceived by a human mind,<br>
- long ago.<br>
- It was to late to take stock of the situation. <br>
- The robber kicked the door in.<br>
- Now I stood there.<br>
- For the first time in a while, I thought<br>
- of my appearence.<br>
- He saw me.<br>
- With his eyes screwed up behind the mask.<br>
- <br>
- “Are you new here?”, I asked.<br>
- He heard nothing. </font> </p>
- <p></p>
- <p><font color="#99FF66">I continued:<br>
- “It isn´t possible to see youself from outside.<br>
- My eyes are not enough.<br>
- If man should be able to see himself,<br>
- he would have been created as a round ball<br>
- with his head pointing towards the naval.<br>
- An aerial would point up,<br>
- so we could send signals to the others."<br>
- <br>
- "We can´t see ourselves.<br>
- We need the others to see us.<br>
- We must be certain that we really exist. <br>
- That it isn't just a dream<br>
- playing infront of our eyes.<br>
- This rule also applies<br>
- to the inhabitants of the Map.”<br>
- <br>
- This can be the first day in my life.<br>
- I kicked the door, so it shut behind me. <br>
- <br>
- I understood that I wasn´t completely<br>
- like I used to be.<br>
- <br>
- I have seen a shadow fall upon me.<br>
- It darkened the city.<br>
- Did I dream that a shadow fell?<br>
- <br>
- I have been around the Map<br>
- in order to get an overview. <br>
- The gardens are being created.<br>
- I see the city being built anew.<br>
- It seems strange.<br>
- I am no longer the person I used to be.<br>
- <br>
- Who is on the other side?<br>
- Are they like me?<br>
- Where are the borders of the world?<br>
- How far to the right can I walk?<br>
- How far to the left?<br>
- What is on the other side?<br>
- <br>
- I have a purpose!<br>
- One of my feet is free.<br>
- But what is it good for, when the other is caught?<br>
- <br>
- I visited the newbuilders when they were asleep.<br>
- I came through the window.<br>
- They were snoring.<br>
- I looked at the building and knew<br>
- that it wouldn´t last.<br>
- I took a note about it in my notebook.<br>
- <br>
- If you could build a house<br>
- somewhere else,<br>
- then where would you build it?<br>
- -Which place would you most like to stay in?<br>
- -Which place would you least like to stay in?<br>
- <br>
- I put the note on the noticeboard<br>
- and went again.</font></p>
- <p><font color="#99FF66">Today is the first day in my new life!<br>
- It´s going to be the first time again.<br>
- Of this and of that.<br>
- Of everything.<br>
- This time all has to be done again,<br>
- This time it must happen the right way.<br>
- Yet, I´m not free.<br>
- <br>
- My foot isn´t completely free.<br>
- Personally, I have had so many previous lives<br>
- that I have lost count of them.<br>
- They have not all been worth collecting.<br>
- <br>
- Some of my lives have been far too short.<br>
- Some too tedious.<br>
- Others have been so challenging<br>
- that I could hardly catch up.<br>
- I´m not in charge.<br>
- I´m the narrator.<br>
- I write about the others.<br>
- About those who experience things.<br>
- <br>
- The experiences of the others also become mine.<br>
- If I didn´t write them down, they wouldn´t exist.<br>
- <br>
- A watchtower has been built for me<br>
- so I can keep an eye on the building<br>
- as it progresses.<br>
- From here I can see the whole day.<br>
- <br>
- Most people are working on the large building.<br>
- Or creating the new gardens.<br>
- They work from dusk to dawn.<br>
- Everytime the city goes to pieces,<br>
- we may start all over again.<br>
- <br>
- I write in order to remember<br>
- what has happened.<br>
- <br>
- In my original form,<br>
- long ago, when I was completely new in the world<br>
- I had the opportunity to<br>
- do things on my own.<br>
- The newbuilders gave me a tent to play with.<br>
- <br>
- I could move it around as I pleased.<br>
- I put it up in all the gardens<br>
- that I liked.<br>
- In the front and back gardens.<br>
- Whereever I came.<br>
- Soon everybody turned up.<br>
- They pulled up the pegs and tore off the outer tent. <br>
- <br>
- The world has never been one big common garden.<br>
- It has always been split up<br>
- in small and big pieces.<br>
- <br>
- In the beginning, I mainly wrote<br>
- about my family.<br>
- Once, when I was transferred to another city,<br>
- </font><font color="#99FF66">I thus travelled across the Map.<br>
- I had a notebook with me.<br>
- I remained behind the hedge<br>
- outside the garden of their house.<br>
- I wanted to see if they still were there.<br>
- If my father had become older.<br>
- If my mother had had more children.<br>
- I don´t know them.<br>
- They don´t know me either.<br>
- <br>
- We don´t know about having knowledge about each other.<br>
- We´re agents.<br>
- We´re little black dots.<br>
- We´re random pieces to move around.<br>
- <br>
- If I didn´t write<br>
- nobody else would.<br>
- <br>
- In my original form, when I was new in the world,<br>
- long ago,<br>
- it was not possible for me to do anything on my own.<br>
- I was one of those who was often moved around.<br>
- I tore around the Map without staying anywhere for longer periods of time.<br>
- <br>
- That will be one of the first things<br>
- I will change,<br>
- when I get the chance.<br>
- <br>
- Before I got a life I hibernated for some time.<br>
- In a garbage bin.<br>
- In pit darkness.<br>
- I almost didn´t exist.<br>
- <br>
- </font><font color="#99FF66">That wasn´t necessarily bad.<br>
- My notebook was empty.<br>
- <br>
- It will be the first time <br>
- of everyting in my life.<br>
- <br>
- I live on the inside of a vulcano.<br>
- It hasn´t erupted for a long time.<br>
- That may happen any time.<br>
- It was because of the colours that I have moved in there.<br>
- <br>
- They don´t see it. The abyss in front of them.<br>
- They build for life. A house surrounding itself.<br>
- But are they building for eternity?<br>
- Who thinks about the future?<br>
- <br>
- It happened that I found myself<br>
- far outside the Map.<br>
- In a barren and desolate world.<br>
- I knew that the road continued.<br>
- It would take me away from what I know.<br>
- <br>
- There was a river I had to cross.<br>
- I stepped into it. The water reached my throat.<br>
- Suddenly, I lost my step and slipped.<br>
- I broke all my bones.<br>
- Drifted with the current.<br>
- Downwards.</font></p>
- <p><font color="#99FF66">This was the way out.<br>
- To the other world.<br>
- The Map has no limits.<br>
- The shadow falls upon me.<br>
- I´m in its bossom.<br>
- I´m no longer alone.<br>
- A new life lies ahead for me.<br>
- <br>
- I ride on the top of the vulcano<br>
- I ask it to start moving.<br>
- It can shoot me out and send me on.<br>
- This way I get another existence.<br>
- <br>
- Here I am.<br>
- From one world to another.<br>
- The lava smokes.<br>
- It accelerates.<br>
- It rolls forward.<br>
- Extends across the whole Map.<br>
- Across the newbuildings.<br>
- Invading the newly laid gardens.<br>
- There is no rebellion here.<br>
- There is nothing to do.<br>
- The changes have started.<br>
- The new will follow.<br>
- <br>
- If you could build a house<br>
- somewhere other than here,<br>
- in that case where would you build it?<br>
- -Which place would you least like to stay in?<br>
- -Which place would you most like to stay in?<br>
- </font></p>
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