Improve FreedomBox pages.

1 files changed, 20 insertions, 17 deletions

diff --git a/fb/year.mdwn b/fb/year.mdwn
index 32bb77b..0523f15 100644
--- a/fb/year.mdwn
+++ b/fb/year.mdwn
@@ -5,9 +5,9 @@
 
 I am involved in developing something coined as the [FreedomBox][].
 
-Explaining it to my [mum][] the other day, she wisely asks if, albeit
-clearly an exciting challenge we've picked, it really is doable?
-Agreed the World has gone sour, but is drastic change even possible?
+Explaining it to my [mum][] the other day, she wisely asks if it, albeit
+clearly an exciting challenge we've picked, really is doable?
+Surely the World has gone sour, but is such radical change even possible?
 
 Annoying question! And clever :-)
 
@@ -17,30 +17,29 @@ momentum for ordinary users.  That current or next year was to become
 Funny thing, seen in restrospect, is how "the year" kept being postponed,
 and when finally [OLPC][] paved the way for the boom of Netbooks and arguably we got
 there, the World had moved on: Now Free Sofware is as common and as
-usable on desktops as commercially driven systems. Is taken for granted,
+usable on desktops as commercially driven systems. It is taken for granted,
 not praised, and we look forward for the
 Next Big Challenge (as geeks) or Next Big Excitement (as users).
 
 Perhaps a similar fate is to be expected for FreedomBox:
-[Initially][] when sparking our interest, and [repeatedly][] [since][] while
-we still have nothing concrete to demonstrate at all - heck, even
-[before][] we started haccking on it or knew the name of our dreams
-- our [Prophet][] declared the Year of the FreedomBox.
-Not explicitly, but cleverly abstracted as "right now".
+[Initially][] when sparking our interest, and [repeatedly][] [since][] although
+we still today have nothing concrete to show - indeed even
+[before][] we started hacking on it or knew the name of our dreams
+- our [Prophet][] declared the Year of the [FreedomBox][].
+Not explicitly, but the cleverly phrased "right now."
 
 I am excited and proud to be working on FreedomBox, and foolishly hope
 it will be ready for worldwide consumption in a very recent "right now"
 - well aware that most likely it won't happen like that.  Thing is,
-I don't care _how_ it happens, just that it does.  The trick is
-our way of working: Hacking might be expressed as larger projects,
-but really is juggling piles of smaller pieces of the puzzle,
-constantly ensuring that each piece is usable in more than one way
-and across more than one project.
-I do not _only_ work on [FreedomBox][], just as I did not _only_ work on
+I don't really care _how_ it happens, if only something does.  This is
+due to the way we work: Hacking may appear from outside as larger projects,
+but really is juggling piles of small pieces for an eternal jigsaw puzzle,
+with each piece usable in multiple ways and across projects.
+I do not work _only_ on [FreedomBox][], just as I did not work _only_ on
 [Sugar][] before that, or _only_ with [Debian][] as my platform:
 
 I work on Freedom-enabling technologies
-and ways to frame them for the World at large to move itself.
+and ways to frame them for the Real World to use them with a vengeance.
 
 I sure hope you take the results for granted.  That's true success!
 
@@ -53,10 +52,14 @@ I sure hope you take the results for granted.  That's true success!
 [Prophet]: http://www.softwarefreedom.org/about/team/#eben
   "Eben Moglen"
 [before]: http://www.h-online.com/open/features/Interview-Eben-Moglen-Freedom-vs-the-Cloud-Log-955421.html
+  "FreedomBox - Eben Moglen interview at the H"
 [initially]: http://penta.debconf.org/dc10_schedule/events/641.en.html
+  "FreedomBox - Eben Moglen talk at DebConf10 (annual Debian conference)"
 [repeatedly]: http://www.softwarefreedom.org/events/2011/fosdem/moglen-fosdem-keynote-highlights.html
+  "FreedomBox - Eben Moglen talk at FOSDEM 2011"
 [since]: http://mediasd.cbsnews.com/media/2011/03/06/eve_sieberg_306_1100.m4v
+  "FreedomBox - TV News spot at CBS"
 [Sugar]: http://sugarlabs.org/
-  "Sugarlabs - powerful software invented for OLPC"
+  "Sugar - powerful software invented for OLPC"
 [Debian]: http://www.debian.org/
   "Debian - the Universal Operating System"