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  13. <p align="left"><font color="#99FF66"> The Cursor&acute;s Monologue<br>
  14. By Gritt Uldall-Jessen<br>
  15. <br>
  16. <br>
  17. Today is the first day in my new life!<br>
  18. It&acute;s going to be the first time again.<br>
  19. Of this and that.<br>
  20. Of everything.<br>
  21. This time all has to be done again.<br>
  22. This time it must happen the right way<br>
  23. I&acute;m not yet free.<br>
  24. </font><font color="#99FF66"><br>
  25. My lifespan is determined by he<br>
  26. who initiates me.<br>
  27. The question of whether I am worth keeping alive<br>
  28. is my daily challenge.<br>
  29. <br>
  30. My demands are way too large.<br>
  31. &quot;Don&acute;t switch me off, are you listening?&#8221;<br>
  32. &#8220;Give me time, I have a purpose!&quot;<br>
  33. <br>
  34. To where am I ordered <br>
  35. this time?<br>
  36. What will my task be?<br>
  37. Which place will I belong to?<br>
  38. <br>
  39. The inhabitants of the Map have all seen me.<br>
  40. I'm familiar to them.<br>
  41. But that doesn&acute;t mean<br>
  42. that there&acute;re any of them who really sees me.<br>
  43. <br>
  44. We&acute;re all agents.<br>
  45. We don&acute;t know of knowing each other for real. <br>
  46. Unless it is noted in our profile. <br>
  47. <br>
  48. My function is<br>
  49. to write about the others.<br>
  50. About anyone.<br>
  51. <br>
  52. A robber came,<br>
  53. and robbed me of my imprisonment.<br>
  54. When he broke in, I broke out.<br>
  55. I don&acute;t know how long<br>
  56. I had been in prison, at that time.<br>
  57. I barely knew whether I existed in the world<br>
  58. or not.<br>
  59. Whether I existed as anything but an idea<br>
  60. which was conceived by a human mind,<br>
  61. long ago.<br>
  62. It was to late to take stock of the situation. <br>
  63. The robber kicked the door in.<br>
  64. Now I stood there.<br>
  65. For the first time in a while, I thought<br>
  66. of my appearence.<br>
  67. He saw me.<br>
  68. With his eyes screwed up behind the mask.<br>
  69. <br>
  70. &#8220;Are you new here?&#8221;, I asked.<br>
  71. He heard nothing. </font> </p>
  72. <p></p>
  73. <p><font color="#99FF66">I continued:<br>
  74. &#8220;It isn&acute;t possible to see youself from outside.<br>
  75. My eyes are not enough.<br>
  76. If man should be able to see himself,<br>
  77. he would have been created as a round ball<br>
  78. with his head pointing towards the naval.<br>
  79. An aerial would point up,<br>
  80. so we could send signals to the others.&quot;<br>
  81. <br>
  82. &quot;We can&acute;t see ourselves.<br>
  83. We need the others to see us.<br>
  84. We must be certain that we really exist. <br>
  85. That it isn't just a dream<br>
  86. playing infront of our eyes.<br>
  87. This rule also applies<br>
  88. to the inhabitants of the Map.&#8221;<br>
  89. <br>
  90. This can be the first day in my life.<br>
  91. I kicked the door, so it shut behind me. <br>
  92. <br>
  93. I understood that I wasn&acute;t completely<br>
  94. like I used to be.<br>
  95. <br>
  96. I have seen a shadow fall upon me.<br>
  97. It darkened the city.<br>
  98. Did I dream that a shadow fell?<br>
  99. <br>
  100. I have been around the Map<br>
  101. in order to get an overview. <br>
  102. The gardens are being created.<br>
  103. I see the city being built anew.<br>
  104. It seems strange.<br>
  105. I am no longer the person I used to be.<br>
  106. <br>
  107. Who is on the other side?<br>
  108. Are they like me?<br>
  109. Where are the borders of the world?<br>
  110. How far to the right can I walk?<br>
  111. How far to the left?<br>
  112. What is on the other side?<br>
  113. <br>
  114. I have a purpose!<br>
  115. One of my feet is free.<br>
  116. But what is it good for, when the other is caught?<br>
  117. <br>
  118. I visited the newbuilders when they were asleep.<br>
  119. I came through the window.<br>
  120. They were snoring.<br>
  121. I looked at the building and knew<br>
  122. that it wouldn&acute;t last.<br>
  123. I took a note about it in my notebook.<br>
  124. <br>
  125. If you could build a house<br>
  126. somewhere else,<br>
  127. then where would you build it?<br>
  128. -Which place would you most like to stay in?<br>
  129. -Which place would you least like to stay in?<br>
  130. <br>
  131. I put the note on the noticeboard<br>
  132. and went again.</font></p>
  133. <p><font color="#99FF66">Today is the first day in my new life!<br>
  134. It&acute;s going to be the first time again.<br>
  135. Of this and of that.<br>
  136. Of everything.<br>
  137. This time all has to be done again,<br>
  138. This time it must happen the right way.<br>
  139. Yet, I&acute;m not free.<br>
  140. <br>
  141. My foot isn&acute;t completely free.<br>
  142. Personally, I have had so many previous lives<br>
  143. that I have lost count of them.<br>
  144. They have not all been worth collecting.<br>
  145. <br>
  146. Some of my lives have been far too short.<br>
  147. Some too tedious.<br>
  148. Others have been so challenging<br>
  149. that I could hardly catch up.<br>
  150. I&acute;m not in charge.<br>
  151. I&acute;m the narrator.<br>
  152. I write about the others.<br>
  153. About those who experience things.<br>
  154. <br>
  155. The experiences of the others also become mine.<br>
  156. If I didn&acute;t write them down, they wouldn&acute;t exist.<br>
  157. <br>
  158. A watchtower has been built for me<br>
  159. so I can keep an eye on the building<br>
  160. as it progresses.<br>
  161. From here I can see the whole day.<br>
  162. <br>
  163. Most people are working on the large building.<br>
  164. Or creating the new gardens.<br>
  165. They work from dusk to dawn.<br>
  166. Everytime the city goes to pieces,<br>
  167. we may start all over again.<br>
  168. <br>
  169. I write in order to remember<br>
  170. what has happened.<br>
  171. <br>
  172. In my original form,<br>
  173. long ago, when I was completely new in the world<br>
  174. I had the opportunity to<br>
  175. do things on my own.<br>
  176. The newbuilders gave me a tent to play with.<br>
  177. <br>
  178. I could move it around as I pleased.<br>
  179. I put it up in all the gardens<br>
  180. that I liked.<br>
  181. In the front and back gardens.<br>
  182. Whereever I came.<br>
  183. Soon everybody turned up.<br>
  184. They pulled up the pegs and tore off the outer tent. <br>
  185. <br>
  186. The world has never been one big common garden.<br>
  187. It has always been split up<br>
  188. in small and big pieces.<br>
  189. <br>
  190. In the beginning, I mainly wrote<br>
  191. about my family.<br>
  192. Once, when I was transferred to another city,<br>
  193. </font><font color="#99FF66">I thus travelled across the Map.<br>
  194. I had a notebook with me.<br>
  195. I remained behind the hedge<br>
  196. outside the garden of their house.<br>
  197. I wanted to see if they still were there.<br>
  198. If my father had become older.<br>
  199. If my mother had had more children.<br>
  200. I don&acute;t know them.<br>
  201. They don&acute;t know me either.<br>
  202. <br>
  203. We don&acute;t know about having knowledge about each other.<br>
  204. We&acute;re agents.<br>
  205. We&acute;re little black dots.<br>
  206. We&acute;re random pieces to move around.<br>
  207. <br>
  208. If I didn&acute;t write<br>
  209. nobody else would.<br>
  210. <br>
  211. In my original form, when I was new in the world,<br>
  212. long ago,<br>
  213. it was not possible for me to do anything on my own.<br>
  214. I was one of those who was often moved around.<br>
  215. I tore around the Map without staying anywhere for longer periods of time.<br>
  216. <br>
  217. That will be one of the first things<br>
  218. I will change,<br>
  219. when I get the chance.<br>
  220. <br>
  221. Before I got a life I hibernated for some time.<br>
  222. In a garbage bin.<br>
  223. In pit darkness.<br>
  224. I almost didn&acute;t exist.<br>
  225. <br>
  226. </font><font color="#99FF66">That wasn&acute;t necessarily bad.<br>
  227. My notebook was empty.<br>
  228. <br>
  229. It will be the first time <br>
  230. of everyting in my life.<br>
  231. <br>
  232. I live on the inside of a vulcano.<br>
  233. It hasn&acute;t erupted for a long time.<br>
  234. That may happen any time.<br>
  235. It was because of the colours that I have moved in there.<br>
  236. <br>
  237. They don&acute;t see it. The abyss in front of them.<br>
  238. They build for life. A house surrounding itself.<br>
  239. But are they building for eternity?<br>
  240. Who thinks about the future?<br>
  241. <br>
  242. It happened that I found myself<br>
  243. far outside the Map.<br>
  244. In a barren and desolate world.<br>
  245. I knew that the road continued.<br>
  246. It would take me away from what I know.<br>
  247. <br>
  248. There was a river I had to cross.<br>
  249. I stepped into it. The water reached my throat.<br>
  250. Suddenly, I lost my step and slipped.<br>
  251. I broke all my bones.<br>
  252. Drifted with the current.<br>
  253. Downwards.</font></p>
  254. <p><font color="#99FF66">This was the way out.<br>
  255. To the other world.<br>
  256. The Map has no limits.<br>
  257. The shadow falls upon me.<br>
  258. I&acute;m in its bossom.<br>
  259. I&acute;m no longer alone.<br>
  260. A new life lies ahead for me.<br>
  261. <br>
  262. I ride on the top of the vulcano<br>
  263. I ask it to start moving.<br>
  264. It can shoot me out and send me on.<br>
  265. This way I get another existence.<br>
  266. <br>
  267. Here I am.<br>
  268. From one world to another.<br>
  269. The lava smokes.<br>
  270. It accelerates.<br>
  271. It rolls forward.<br>
  272. Extends across the whole Map.<br>
  273. Across the newbuildings.<br>
  274. Invading the newly laid gardens.<br>
  275. There is no rebellion here.<br>
  276. There is nothing to do.<br>
  277. The changes have started.<br>
  278. The new will follow.<br>
  279. <br>
  280. If you could build a house<br>
  281. somewhere other than here,<br>
  282. in that case where would you build it?<br>
  283. -Which place would you least like to stay in?<br>
  284. -Which place would you most like to stay in?<br>
  285. &nbsp;</font></p>
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