The Cursor´s Monologue

From 8239b901b09ce8b19901867dfa8fe1c59ba3acbd Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Jonas Smedegaard Date: Thu, 21 Jun 2007 11:17:40 +0200 Subject: Snapshot as of 2007-06-21. --- stream/CM_eng.html | 289 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 1 file changed, 289 insertions(+) create mode 100755 stream/CM_eng.html (limited to 'stream/CM_eng.html') diff --git a/stream/CM_eng.html b/stream/CM_eng.html new file mode 100755 index 0000000..e732203 --- /dev/null +++ b/stream/CM_eng.html @@ -0,0 +1,289 @@ + + + +The Cursor´s Monologue + + + + + +

The Cursor´s Monologue
+ By Gritt Uldall-Jessen
+
+
+ Today is the first day in my new life!
+ It´s going to be the first time again.
+ Of this and that.
+ Of everything.
+ This time all has to be done again.
+ This time it must happen the right way
+ I´m not yet free.
+
+ My lifespan is determined by he
+ who initiates me.
+ The question of whether I am worth keeping alive
+ is my daily challenge.
+
+ My demands are way too large.
+ "Don´t switch me off, are you listening?”
+ “Give me time, I have a purpose!"
+
+ To where am I ordered
+ this time?
+ What will my task be?
+ Which place will I belong to?
+
+ The inhabitants of the Map have all seen me.
+ I'm familiar to them.
+ But that doesn´t mean
+ that there´re any of them who really sees me.
+
+ We´re all agents.
+ We don´t know of knowing each other for real.
+ Unless it is noted in our profile.
+
+ My function is
+ to write about the others.
+ About anyone.
+
+ A robber came,
+ and robbed me of my imprisonment.
+ When he broke in, I broke out.
+ I don´t know how long
+ I had been in prison, at that time.
+ I barely knew whether I existed in the world
+ or not.
+ Whether I existed as anything but an idea
+ which was conceived by a human mind,
+ long ago.
+ It was to late to take stock of the situation.
+ The robber kicked the door in.
+ Now I stood there.
+ For the first time in a while, I thought
+ of my appearence.
+ He saw me.
+ With his eyes screwed up behind the mask.
+
+ “Are you new here?”, I asked.
+ He heard nothing.

I continued:
+ “It isn´t possible to see youself from outside.
+ My eyes are not enough.
+ If man should be able to see himself,
+ he would have been created as a round ball
+ with his head pointing towards the naval.
+ An aerial would point up,
+ so we could send signals to the others."
+
+ "We can´t see ourselves.
+ We need the others to see us.
+ We must be certain that we really exist.
+ That it isn't just a dream
+ playing infront of our eyes.
+ This rule also applies
+ to the inhabitants of the Map.”
+
+ This can be the first day in my life.
+ I kicked the door, so it shut behind me.
+
+ I understood that I wasn´t completely
+ like I used to be.
+
+ I have seen a shadow fall upon me.
+ It darkened the city.
+ Did I dream that a shadow fell?
+
+ I have been around the Map
+ in order to get an overview.
+ The gardens are being created.
+ I see the city being built anew.
+ It seems strange.
+ I am no longer the person I used to be.
+
+ Who is on the other side?
+ Are they like me?
+ Where are the borders of the world?
+ How far to the right can I walk?
+ How far to the left?
+ What is on the other side?
+
+ I have a purpose!
+ One of my feet is free.
+ But what is it good for, when the other is caught?
+
+ I visited the newbuilders when they were asleep.
+ I came through the window.
+ They were snoring.
+ I looked at the building and knew
+ that it wouldn´t last.
+ I took a note about it in my notebook.
+
+ If you could build a house
+ somewhere else,
+ then where would you build it?
+ -Which place would you most like to stay in?
+ -Which place would you least like to stay in?
+
+ I put the note on the noticeboard
+ and went again.

Today is the first day in my new life!
+ It´s going to be the first time again.
+ Of this and of that.
+ Of everything.
+ This time all has to be done again,
+ This time it must happen the right way.
+ Yet, I´m not free.
+
+ My foot isn´t completely free.
+ Personally, I have had so many previous lives
+ that I have lost count of them.
+ They have not all been worth collecting.
+
+ Some of my lives have been far too short.
+ Some too tedious.
+ Others have been so challenging
+ that I could hardly catch up.
+ I´m not in charge.
+ I´m the narrator.
+ I write about the others.
+ About those who experience things.
+
+ The experiences of the others also become mine.
+ If I didn´t write them down, they wouldn´t exist.
+
+ A watchtower has been built for me
+ so I can keep an eye on the building
+ as it progresses.
+ From here I can see the whole day.
+
+ Most people are working on the large building.
+ Or creating the new gardens.
+ They work from dusk to dawn.
+ Everytime the city goes to pieces,
+ we may start all over again.
+
+ I write in order to remember
+ what has happened.
+
+ In my original form,
+ long ago, when I was completely new in the world
+ I had the opportunity to
+ do things on my own.
+ The newbuilders gave me a tent to play with.
+
+ I could move it around as I pleased.
+ I put it up in all the gardens
+ that I liked.
+ In the front and back gardens.
+ Whereever I came.
+ Soon everybody turned up.
+ They pulled up the pegs and tore off the outer tent.
+
+ The world has never been one big common garden.
+ It has always been split up
+ in small and big pieces.
+
+ In the beginning, I mainly wrote
+ about my family.
+ Once, when I was transferred to another city,
+ I thus travelled across the Map.
+ I had a notebook with me.
+ I remained behind the hedge
+ outside the garden of their house.
+ I wanted to see if they still were there.
+ If my father had become older.
+ If my mother had had more children.
+ I don´t know them.
+ They don´t know me either.
+
+ We don´t know about having knowledge about each other.
+ We´re agents.
+ We´re little black dots.
+ We´re random pieces to move around.
+
+ If I didn´t write
+ nobody else would.
+
+ In my original form, when I was new in the world,
+ long ago,
+ it was not possible for me to do anything on my own.
+ I was one of those who was often moved around.
+ I tore around the Map without staying anywhere for longer periods of time.
+
+ That will be one of the first things
+ I will change,
+ when I get the chance.
+
+ Before I got a life I hibernated for some time.
+ In a garbage bin.
+ In pit darkness.
+ I almost didn´t exist.
+
+ That wasn´t necessarily bad.
+ My notebook was empty.
+
+ It will be the first time
+ of everyting in my life.
+
+ I live on the inside of a vulcano.
+ It hasn´t erupted for a long time.
+ That may happen any time.
+ It was because of the colours that I have moved in there.
+
+ They don´t see it. The abyss in front of them.
+ They build for life. A house surrounding itself.
+ But are they building for eternity?
+ Who thinks about the future?
+
+ It happened that I found myself
+ far outside the Map.
+ In a barren and desolate world.
+ I knew that the road continued.
+ It would take me away from what I know.
+
+ There was a river I had to cross.
+ I stepped into it. The water reached my throat.
+ Suddenly, I lost my step and slipped.
+ I broke all my bones.
+ Drifted with the current.
+ Downwards.

This was the way out.
+ To the other world.
+ The Map has no limits.
+ The shadow falls upon me.
+ I´m in its bossom.
+ I´m no longer alone.
+ A new life lies ahead for me.
+
+ I ride on the top of the vulcano
+ I ask it to start moving.
+ It can shoot me out and send me on.
+ This way I get another existence.
+
+ Here I am.
+ From one world to another.
+ The lava smokes.
+ It accelerates.
+ It rolls forward.
+ Extends across the whole Map.
+ Across the newbuildings.
+ Invading the newly laid gardens.
+ There is no rebellion here.
+ There is nothing to do.
+ The changes have started.
+ The new will follow.
+
+ If you could build a house
+ somewhere other than here,
+ in that case where would you build it?
+ -Which place would you least like to stay in?
+ -Which place would you most like to stay in?
+

+ + -- cgit v1.2.3